Breakfast, Anyone? Book 1
by Un Mei Mawa
Summary: Consider this a comedy version of the next generation of Harry Potter. During Albus Potter's second year at Hogwarts, he encounters a family who call themselves the "Flapjacks". From then on, things seemed to hurl into complete madness! A not-so-smart Raveclaw, a sugar-high Slytherin, an emo Gryffindor and a narcissistic Hufflepuff? What is this! Join Albus, Rose and... secret


**Suginei: Err... this is my first time writing a fanfic of a book, so... sorry if it does not meet expectations. I own absolutely nothing besides the fic idea and my four OCs (as shown on the cover).**

**HOLD UP! OCs = Boring Mary-Sues? I think not! Give them a chance!**

* * *

An odd wind was blowing... and Harry had a vague idea of what it meant.

An old friend, perhaps?

For it was the same wind that blew... when the Dursleys discovered their nephew on their doorstep.

* * *

Albus sighed as he put down his hand. It seemed abnormally tired and heavy from all the waving. He closed his eyes and rested his head against the back of his seat, ready to have a good morning's sleep when-

"ALL RIGHT! SIS, I FOUND HIM!" He was immediately tackled by a... red ball of... fur?

Brushing his dark bangs out of the way, he recognized the red fur ball to be an actual human being. A girl, in fact. T'was his second year in Hogwarts, and believe it or not, he still hasn't gotten used to surprise attacks, yet.

"ARE YOU REALLY... LIKE, REALLY, REALLY, HARRY POTTER?!" The girl continued to shout in his ear.

Albus blinked a couple of times with confusion. First, she did know that these walls aren't soundproof, right? Second, she was already wearing her robes? And third... holy cow, she has pink hair... Finally... "Wait, how d-do you know my father?" He finally managed to stutter out.

"Father? Wait, but-"

"Coco!" Just when Albus thought things could never get any weirder when a blue-haired kid poked his head in. Yes, _blue_ hair. Okay, maybe it was more of an indigo shade, and it looked black when the light's not shining on it, but still... it looked highly unnatural. However, this time, Albus actually knew this kid. He was a year older and James' best buddy... Crepes. The truth is... Crepes' full name was Waffles Crepes Flapjack, but uh... with a name like that, anyone would prefer to use their middle name, no?

The younger dark haired boy gave the older kid a weak smile, half-pleading him to help.

Crepes heaved a deep sigh before walking over to the girl with bouncy pink hair. Now that Albus finally had a clear view of her, she was actually pretty cute in the dictionary sense, not the teenager sense. He realized that the pinkness of her hair came from the reflection of the lights on a couple of dyed strands, it seemed that the rest of her head was a fiery red, quite like his best friend, Rose's.

"Sorry, bud, this here is Coco." Crepes chuckled in his low husky voice with a certain twang of some countryside accent from America.

"Cupcakes." The girl suddenly cut in as she dangled helplessly in the air.

Albus blinked a couple of times, was she hungry or something? "Erm, well, if you want cupcakes, the trolley just we-"

"No, no, no, _Cupcakes_." Her tone sounded a bit more frustrated now...

"What?"

"CUPCAKES!"

Albus gave up and looked at Crepes for help... yet again.

Crepes shrugged and suppressed a cough, "Well, you see... I think James probably told you already the last time I went to visit, but, er... our ancestor's were famous pancake makers, you know... the Flapjack Pancake House?"

"Never heard of y-"

"Anyways, our parents decided to open up a pastry shop instead after a failed attempt at making flying flapjacks, so here we are."

Albus waited for him to continue. Nothing came.

...Oh no, wait. He didn't mean...?

Albus swallowed a lump in his throat, "So... um... your name is... Cupcakes?"

"YES!" The girl smiled happily, a huge grin plastered upon her face.

* * *

As they entered the hallway, Rose was practically rolling over laughing, "Oh my goodness, really? She thought you were Uncle Harry? Really?!"

It was indeed quite silly of her to think that... but still, why in the world did she know his father? Sure, over the few years he's experienced similar encounters and such, but none of them consists of a tiny little eleven-year-old girl.

Just like the rest of the Gryffindors, he headed to the red clothed table and sat down, awaiting their headmistress' speech, and of course... the sorting, which was probably the most exciting thing that happens on the first day of each year.

As the first-years filed in, Albus noticed a glint of pink and immediately winced. It was of course, Coco... though unlike her brother, she somehow prefers to be called by her first name... odd.

From the corner of his eye, he noticed a glint of fiery red... Must be a Weasley. However, Coco had that same red hair as well... except she dyed some of them pink. In fact, now that he looked closely... Coco had two heads?! Oh, no... it's just another face who looks exactly like hers... twins?

While he was dazing out, the sorting had gone down to the F's already. "Flapjack, Cupcakes!"

"Here~" Coco giggled as she hopped onto the seat. Somehow... she reminded Albus of a sugar-high Luna, who is one of his parents' dearest friends. Hm, who knows? Maybe she'll be in Ravenclaw... or Hufflepuff. When in doubt, choose Hufflepuff-

"SLYTHERIN!"

"WHAT?!"

Rose quickly clapped a hand over Albus' mouth and gave a fierce glare from her brown eyes. Oh, yes... the instant that word came out, the sorted student would instantly become the enemy of the other three houses. Well, who cares if they fought together during that Great Wizard Battle in Hogwarts? That was years ago! It only lasted like... how many minutes? Now, the rivalry between Gryffindor and Slytherin were still going on, but probably not so much since there had been rumors flying around about secret lovers from the two houses.

What a rip-off of _Romeo and Juliet._

Though it seemed as if the Slytherins weren't too happy about this certain first-year joining their house either...

"Say, um... James, is Crepes a pure-blood?"

His older brother pondered a moment as he stared hungrily at the still empty plates. "Hard to say. He said both of his parents were squibs."

"Oh, then... were his ancestors all wizards?"

"ANOTHER WEASLEY! GRYFFINDOR!"

His question was cut off as the headmistress gave her order, "Let us 'dig in'!"

Goodness, Albus had been wasting so much time thinking about the Flapjacks that he missed the rest of the sorting ceremony! How did that even happen? He felt a sharp jab in his stomach and turned to see Rose's fierce glare... again. "What?" He hissed, rubbing the spot where she had poked with her wand.

Rose said nothing, but she pointed towards his left. Turning around once more, a shine of red greeted him, he almost had to block his eyes from it. A... first-year? Natural straight red hair... freckles... but she was definitely not one of his cousins. "Hello?"

The girl glanced at him. He drew in a breath as he realized how... dark, her face was. Her skin was a milky white, and her small flecks of freckles stood out above everything on her face, her eyes almost seemed invisible under those red bangs, though Albus could thinly make out the dark circles around her eyes that seemed like eyeliner.

She slowly raised her pale hand and brushed her bangs to one side, revealing her blue eyes... Albus had seen this face before. He was sure of it. Except the last time he saw it, it was framed by swirls of bouncy pink strands along with glittering butterfly clips, and the top was littered with sparkles that seemed as if someone had accidentally dumped a bottle of glitter on it. "Excuse me?"

"Oh, um... I'm Albus Potter. Sorry, I... didn't really see you there."

The girl blinked a couple of times before turning away and allowing her bangs to fall over her eyes once more. "Pleasure to meet you."

Awkward silence.

Albus coughed lightly, "Well, um... you are?"

"Just call me Murlynn."

"Merlin?" He recalled the old bearded wizard in those Muggle stories his father read to him before bed...

"Mur-LYNN."

Albus was exasperated. He was about to tell her that it made no difference to him whatsoever when James popped his head around, "Oh, hey, Albus! I see you've met little Muffins here already!"

"...Muffins?"

"Yeah. Weren't you listening? I don't blame the sorting hat for mistaking her for a Weasley-"

"MUFFINS?!"

"YES, Albus. MUFFINS."

Albus just sat there, his mouth agape as he stared at the first-year. "Full name, please?"

"...Muffins Murlynn Flapjack." She sounded pretty reluctant... and Albus definitely did not blame her. The young Potter felt like fainting. So there were _more_ of them... with the same naming as well... "You said your name was... Potter, yes?"

"Right."

"...You're not Harry Potter are you?"

"...No."

"Good, I've been trying to explain to my sister that Harry Potter died years ago. She just wouldn't listen."

"Oh... so you're twins with C- Wait, huh?! Hold on-"

"Anyways, did you ancestors make pots?"

Albus blinked, feeling more flabbergasted than ever. How did this conversation flow to whether his ancestors made pots or not. "Well, I... I don't... what makes you think that?"

Murlynn shrugged before getting a buffalo wing and placed it on her own plate carefully and just stared at it as if she was expecting something to burst out of it. "Well... your last name is 'Potter', so it's possible that your ancestors made pots."

"Well, I never asked-"

"I wonder how it felt like, making a business by selling pots."

"Actually-"

"Must have been hard work, no?"

"Well-"

"Do you think making pots is better than making cups?"

"I DON'T KNOW!" Albus finally blurted out.

The area near them hushed to silence. Murlynn looked rigid for a few seconds before picking up the wing and started to poke at it with a finger. Albus felt bad... maybe that yell hurt her feelings...

Still, it wasn't his fault that she just wouldn't quiet down and let him talk! Though he shouldn't have lost his temper like that... the silence was making him uncomfortable. Tugging at his collar and letting out a small cough, he tried to start the conversation again, "So, er... I heard from Crepes that your ancestors made pancakes...?"

"Yes." She wasn't looking at him. Or maybe she was, he couldn't tell with her eyes covered like that.

"I think that's cool." Albus tried to use flattering instead.

"Thank you. I think the fact that your ancestors made pots is cool, t-"

"ENOUGH!"

Just like that, the opening ceremony was a total disaster. He seriously wasn't looking forward to this school year by then.

* * *

Letters. Everyone loved it when the owls flew in for the morning letters. Albus was surprised to see a chicken leg drop down in front of Murlynn along with a letter attached to it. She opened it slowly and read over it. "Waffles, it's yours." She called before tossing it over to him when he passed their table.

"Thanks, Muffins."

Albus thought he heard a low growl when Crepes mentioned her first name.

"_'Dear, Waffles, thank you for sending in this roasted owl leg, it's marvelous for you to share your wizard foods with us-'_"

"Hold it." Murlynn stood up slowly, grabbing her brother's robe. "Another one?"

"Hey, it's not my fault the owls are stupid enough to fall into our chimney-"

"You placed a spell on it, didn't you?"

"...Alright, you caught me, lend me your owl, please~?"

The younger girl twitched, Albus could tell that she was staring at her brother in disbelief underneath those bangs. "No way. Use a school owl."

"Erm... they banned me from using them..."

"Too bad." With that, Murlynn had stood up and left the Great Hall without even touching her food.

Rose watched her back and blew a raspberry at the strand of her that was falling out of her ponytail and over her face. "I'll save a muffin for her."

"That's not really a good idea..."

Out of curiosity, Albus turned towards the Slytherin table to see how the other one was going on. Surprisingly, she was mingled in the crowd among the popular Slytherins... and looking towards the corner, he noticed Scorpio Malfoy... alone again.

The truth was that Albus had wanted to talk to him for quite some time already, but the only time they've ever got close to talking was when he accidentally sent a charm spell flying into his nose. However, the two of them were too flustered and confused to make any sense at the time. On other occasions, due to their similar introvert personalities, they could never even utter out a single word without stuttering or biting their tongue. He sighed. Above all, he's a Gryffindor and he's... yeah... everyone knows the rest.

To be honest, he didn't know why he was so drawn towards Scorpius... it was probably partially because of the rivalry between their fathers and partially because of the fact he was always lurking on the side by himself...

For a second, he swore that he saw Scorpius flash a look towards him, and he tried to return it but couldn't hold the connection for more than a millisecond.

People were exiting the room as groups, and he thought a flash of pink had mingled along, but... "Yo, Harry!" Ugh...

"...Yeah?" Why was she already acting as though they were long term buddies?

"Give this to Scorpius, please? Thanks."

First day and already decided to give him a love letter? How- wait... "His journal?"

"Bye~ See ya later! Bye, James!" Huh, so she admits that "James" is Harry's son, but she still thinks Albus is Harry? "Oh, I know you're not Harry, but I just like to call you Harry, okay, Harry?"

Albus just stared. He suddenly felt an arm wrap itself around his shoulder an almost screamed out loud like a girl. "Neat, huh? Coco's an awesome thief." Weird how someone could put those two words together in a sentence... But then, we're talking about Crepes here.

Wait... this may be a chance for him... to finally talk to Scorpius.

* * *

"Hey, Harry! I heard you could turn into a deer!"

"Oh, for the love of Pete..." Rose rolled her eyes as the pink haired first-year charged down the marble staircase towards them, her bouncy hair flowing around her shoulders like springs, her emerald lined robe spread out behind her. "She ought to learn her place!" The redhead seemed to be quite annoyed by Coco already, possibly because of her popularity among the Slytherins and the fact that she kept calling Albus by his father's name.

"Erm... I don't know about that, but I'm pretty sure you meant a stag... you see, 'deer' just softens everything-" Albus began as he turned to her, his books for History tucked safely in his arms.

"Well, can you turn into a moose right now? Like, now?!" Her blue eyes were sparkling so brightly that Albus seriously considered putting on shades.

"A... moose...?"

"Yeah, 'cause I always thought it'd be cool if one of my friends could turn into a bison!"

"Bison?!"

"Oh~ look at the time~ toodles!" With that, she skipped off happily with her fellow Slytherin friends. As she left, Albus noticed a faint glint of platinum blonde... "Hey, Scorpius!" Coco called cheerfully before disappearing into the Potions classroom.

Albus swallowed a lump in his throat. He hadn't returned his journal yet... he felt a light tug and a snort from Rose, "Let's go. It'd be terrible if Goyle comes along."

Ah, yes. Goyle. One of Scorpio's "friends". Only friend, in fact. Rose certainly did not get along with him nor did Albus. It was like he was born to make them hate him. He turned and noticed a blast of redness blocking the doorway, "Hey, Murlynn. Aren't you going in?"

He wondered how long she had been there... it actually felt quite creepy, now that he thought about it.

Her head made a small movement that suggested she probably took a glance at him before sighing and stepping into the classroom. Rose walked past Albus hurriedly and took a seat next to Murlynn. Albus wondered why Rose was so interested in getting close to her, it wasn't like she was that different from her sister... her speech pattern, that is.

"Yo, Malfoy, what's up with you?"

"...Nothing..."

"Then hurry up and get in class!"

"Yes..."

By instinct, Albus' hand went towards the journal that was mixed in with the rest of his books. He had missed yet another chance, so it seemed. As the young Malfoy disappeared from his sight, he was forcefully tugged into the class and pulled into a seat.

* * *

**Suginei: That's all... chapter 2 should have more "action", but... yeah... I don't want to cram everything into one chapter so...**

**Also, note that there will be absolutely no BL, I apologize, Albus x Scorpio fans!**

**Please review!**


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